Knee Deep || Lydia
Valentine’s Day is coming up, so here we go. (@chaseawaythedarkness will you be my valentine???)
So, about two years ago, I posted a rant about how much I hated Valentine’s Day. Judge me as much as you want, but in my defense, I was a thirteen years old girl who never had a boyfriend. (To this day, that last part is still true, but shh.)
I’ll admit that rant was kinda uncalled for and super lame. But, most of it is pretty much true. It doesn’t matter if you’re single on Valentine’s Day. I feel as if the industry needed another holiday to sell more products to society. It’s a smart plan.
But, I will say that Valentine’s Day is important, unlike my opinion two years ago. You should always show the person you love that you appreciate them every single day. But, this day also makes you realize who really is important in your life. Now, it’s not just your boyfriend/girlfriend and your family members that you should celebrate Valentine’s Day for, but for those good friends in your life.
I think that’s what I’ve realized in the past two years from my previous set about Valentine’s Day. You didn’t get here by yourself. You got here with your friends, probably the most uncelebrated people on Valentine’s Day.
Three weeks back, I would’ve been so into the romance theme of Valentine’s Day. In my previous set, I said I would be going to the Valentine’s Day dance with the boy of my dreams, Quinn, the one who I hoped to be celebrating Valentine’s Day with since like the sixth grade. But, shit happens and I didn’t. I was bummed out at first, but I realized that I would not have gotten so close without my friends, Logan and Drake.
I’ve mentioned over and over how blessed I was to have made such great friends this year. But, it wasn’t until now I realized how true it was.
In the beginning of the school year, I was basically put into an Algebra 2 class without any of my fellow freshmen friends but with sophomores and juniors that I vaguely knew the names of. But, there was one boy I was very familiar who I admired from afar, my preteen crush since sixth grade, a sophomore named Quinn.
Slowly, I began to become friends with some of these people, but I especially got close with two sophomores, Logan and Drake. They were good friends with Quinn and by extension, I became close with Quinn.
They made my day, sometimes, they would take me to class and carry my lunch. They made high school so great and were the people I looked forward to seeing. We would always joke around with each other and it was nice to be a part of something.
The day before winter break, I admitted to Logan that I had a crush on Quinn. He was really happy to know, and say would help me try to get us together. When we came back from break, Drake found out, saying that it was “pretty obvious.” I got closer to Logan and Drake, bounded by a secret. They constantly teased me, especially during math class in front of Quinn, who was oblivious from everything. But, it was almost okay because I was constantly reminding them to find out more of what Quinn thought of me.
The next thing I knew, they were successful. They weaseled some information out of Quinn and found out that he liked me and thought I was pretty. It made me really happy that the boy I’ve liked for years had some interest in me. Logan and Drake continued teasing me, and I was perfectly fine with that.
I was hit with reality when it was the end of the semester. I think I realized what was happening after I finished the Algebra 2 final. We were going to change our classes, and I would not have any more classes with any of the boys.
Time was running out and I was frantic for Logan ad Drake to find out more stuff about him. We changed classes. Logan and Drake didn’t move on to Pre-Calculus and Quinn and I were placed in separate Pre-Calculus classes. It was the worst thing that could happened to me, but we made do with it.
Quinn picked up on their very subtle hints and asked Logan if I liked him. He quickly saved it and said he had no idea.
Then, they announced the Sadie Hawkins dance I’ve been waiting for all year. I was going to ask Quinn. At this point, I rarely saw Drake anymore and mostly relied on Logan for help. So, one day I asked him if he could bring Quinn over to our lunch table so I could ask him to the Valentine’s Day Dance. Unexpectedly, Logan brought over some of his other sophomore friends with him. They all knew I was going to ask Quinn to the dance.
I was nervous and his friends dropped hints telling me to ask Quinn already. But, I couldn’t do it, and ended up not asking. Walking back, my friends told me I still had a lot of time to ask him.
But, that night on twitter, before my eyes, I saw Quinn get asked to the dance by a pretty girl. My luck was used up, and my chance was gone. I began to realize how true John Green’s quote was in TFiOS, “The world is not a wish-granting factory.”
I was heartbroken and it didn’t seem real. Why would someone ask a guy to the dance on Twitter? All of the reasons why I wanted to do it in person. But, I was not brave enough.
I was frantic, begging Logan to figure out if it was true. Unfortunately, it was.
I was sad over the next week, wishing to have done something different or actually asked him that day. But, two weeks later, I can say I am glad things happened the way they did. I would never redo anything that happened that day. It happened for a reason.
That reason was to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a totally different meaning.
My two newfound friends, Logan and Drake, got me here. We might have failed, but I realized that they were here for me the entire time. I think that whole “it’s not about the destination, but the journey” makes sense now. Shit, I can say we failed horribly. But, I have been so thankful to them. I didn’t end up getting a date for the dance, but I did get three new friends. I love all three of them.
So this Valentine’s Day, don’t think about the boy who won’t date you, but of the friends that would do anything to make you happy. I found mine and will definitely be cherishing them on Thursday and for the rest of the time I have with them.